At a recent Golden Anniversary celebration here in Abilene, a question was posed to the attendees: Who has been married for 50+ years in this room? A majority of the audience raised their hands! There is no question that many Abilenians have a legacy of long marriages. How do those marriages stand the test of time? Three couples from around Abilene were invited to share their love stories with Abilene Scene about their marriages ranging from sixty to seventy years.
Dick and Ann Gruber
Dick and Ann Gruber have been married for sixty-four years. They met and dated in high school in Eunice, New Mexico. They attended college at what was then Texas Western and is now the University of Texas in El Paso, and they got married in 1960. Dick became a football coach and moved on to work in insurance, and Ann always worked as a secretary wherever they lived. They moved a lot in those early days of marriage, living in New Mexico, Texas, Tennessee and Oklahoma.
One especially memorable day happened in El Paso in 1963. President John F. Kennedy had just been assassinated, and the border between Texas and Mexico shut down. Dick had driven across the border earlier in the day to Juarez to get gas and groceries. There were no cell phones, and Ann was scared to death that he would not be able to get back home. With twin babies and a toddler, somehow she managed to get through the day, and she was so thankful when he finally walked back into their home late that night.
Dick and Ann are so proud of their now-adult children and their grandchildren. They worked hard to raise them and are enjoying the fruits of their labor. The legacy they want to leave their children is to see the love that they have for one another, and they see that marriage is a give and take. Ann says that just because they have been married so long does not mean they have to agree on everything. They have disagreements, talk about them, work through them and move on.
“Sometimes you are going to have down times that you’ve got to lift the other person up,” Ann says, remembering how she has cared for Dick during his many back surgeries (from football, of course).
In addition to the give and take, they also have mutual hobbies like golfing, watching football games and traveling. Last year, they revisited their honeymoon destination in Cloudcroft, New Mexico. The hotel looks just the same and brought back so many good memories. Having similar interests has kept Dick and Ann connected through the years.
Ann says her dad always said, “You’re not better than anybody, but you are as good as everybody.” Their children have learned to live by that, just like Ann and Dick do. They are humble but know their worth. This, along with having shared interests and knowing how to work through disagreements has helped their marriage stand the test of time.
Bob and Betty Hale
Bob and Betty Hale have been married SEVENTY years! Throughout their lives, Bob and Betty have found ways to serve together. Whether through raising children, fostering, teaching Bible classes or loving neighbors, they do things together. They say this is the key to their strong marriage.
They met at Abilene Christian College in 1951 when, as freshmen, they both waited tables in The Grill on campus. As soon as Betty learned shorthand in college, she went to work downtown at the State Farm Insurance Agency. Bob and Betty dated for three years while Bob finished his degree in Education. Betty spent her lunch breaks shopping downtown at Waddington’s, Minter’s and Grissom’s. The shop ladies convinced her to buy a strapless wedding dress and add a jacket and gloves to the look!
Bob’s first teaching job was at Houston Elementary which was across from the city cemetery. His students would often bring him flowers from the graves! He was teaching at Locust Elementary when he got his Draft notice. Because they had no children, he had to answer the call to duty. He served time at Goosebay, Labrador and was then stationed at Fort Eustis in Newport News, Virginia. It was then that Betty moved to be with him.
In Virginia, their small apartment didn’t keep them from having friends from church over to play “Charades.” Once, the police came to tell them they were making too much noise!
In 1959, Bob got an “early out” of the service to finish his Master of Education degree. He went back to teaching at Locust Elementary, and Betty worked as a secretary at ACU in President Don Morris’ office. They saved up and bought their first and only house. They taught Bible classes at Hillcrest Church of Christ for several years.
The same year the Hales bought their house, their first child was born. Betty became a stay-at-home mom for him and later a sister. Bob wondered how they would make the $88 a month house payment on his teacher’s salary after Betty was no longer working! Bob always supplemented his teacher’s salary by working nights and weekends. Betty served as a foster parent while raising their children. They named the foster babies with the alphabet, starting with A. When they got to Q, they quit fostering. Eventually, Betty worked as a secretary again, at Hillcrest and then back at ACU.
Bob retired from AISD after 45 years of teaching, and Betty after 23 years as a secretary at ACU. They have traveled to Germany, England, France, Ireland and most of the scenic spots in the USA. Now they mostly travel in Abilene to church services, doctor appointments and out to eat. They also spend time reclining in front of the TV.
They are both in their nineties and are in good health. Since 2020, they have delivered Meals on Wheels every Wednesday. Most of their clients are younger than the Hales! They deliver 18 meals every week and always look forward to serving together.
Sharing life through hobbies and service has strengthened Bob and Betty Hale’s marriage immensely.
Bob and Marilyn Cluck
Bob and Marilyn Cluck have been married for sixty years. When they married, Marilyn’s father told her that their sense of humor would get them through the tough times. And they have certainly had some tough times.
Bob met Marilyn at Baylor University, and they got married in 1964. Baylor blood runs deep in the Cluck family as four generations have attended school there. Bob and Marilyn love going back for football games.
They eventually moved to Abilene in 1971 and bought a small house. Bob and Marilyn eventually needed more space for their children, and his parents needed to downsize, so they traded houses with Bob’s parents, who lived in the River Oaks neighborhood. They raised their sons in that home and still live there.
The tough times began soon after. Marilyn’s father tragically died in the Big Thompson Canyon flood in Colorado in 1976, trying to get family and friends to safety. A wall of water took the car he was in. Marilyn’s mother and their friends who owned the home where they were staying climbed to the rafters of the house to safety, but her father did not survive. Marilyn was very close with her father, and the grief took a tremendous toll on her.
Several years later, Bob’s mother called Bob one day and asked for help with his father. “I can’t get your daddy out of his chair,” she told him. Bob had to become the parent for his dad that day, as he carried him to the car and got him to the hospital. He had had a stroke. Bob’s dad never went back home and instead lived five more years in a nursing home. The trauma from the sudden shift of responsibility proved stressful for Bob and especially for his marriage to Marilyn, who was still coping from losing her own father.
They decided to separate. Bob moved to a motel and then into an apartment. For the next five months, they lived apart but would still attend things like church together. Their community at First Baptist rallied around them, expressing hard truths at times. One Sunday morning, tiny Lenore Waldrop walked up to Bob, grabbed his shirt and told him, “Bobby Cluck, you are the stupidest guy in the world!” Their family also stood by them through it all. They would not have made it without their support.
Eventually, Bob moved back in. “It was hard when he came back,” Marilyn remembers, “I felt like I was walking on eggshells.” They received counseling services through their church, and slowly reconciled their marriage.
Bob now says, “Marilyn is my rock. She is what keeps me going. She is the greatest.”
Marilyn says, “Our separation was like a broken bone. When it healed, it was stronger. Our marriage is made up of three [Bob, Marilyn and God]. It has to be. That’s the only way. We made a promise to ourselves, to our family and to God.”
By Laura Daulton
Photos By Allison Brown Photography
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